


Obsession

by Phnx



Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-07
Updated: 2012-01-07
Packaged: 2017-10-29 02:12:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/314710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phnx/pseuds/Phnx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This Touya Kouyou belonged only to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Obsession

\--

Touya Kouyou relaxed when the hospital door closed behind the last doctor, leaving the two of them alone. Akiko laughed softly as she reached for her husband’s hand; without his mask of patience, he looked like a sulky child banned from playing outside after a skinned knee—very different from what one might expect of a grown man with heart trouble. It gave Akiko a sort of thrill that, while every go player alive understood his go better than she could, only she saw this side of Kouyou. _This_ Touya Kouyou belonged only to her.

He seemed to be waiting defensively for some sort of reprimand, but Akiko decided the doctors had probably already said enough—and he was fine, really, she just needed to keep him from becoming too stressed out in the future, but that was all for later—so she dodged the subject entirely.

“Our Akira’s growing up very quickly, isn’t he, Kouyou?” It was a strain not to giggle when his eyes bulged in surprise. His mouth opened and closed uncertainly. “Is it strange that he doesn’t have a girlfriend yet? But he is very shy… Maybe I could introduce him to the daughter of one of my friends! I know Ayane is a sweet, lovely girl; I’m sure Akira would—”

“No.”

Akiko blinked, surprised at Kouyou’s adamancy. Of course, she’d only been joking—Akira was too busy for such things right now, and he still was very young—but for a complete rejection of the idea…

Kouyou must have seen her confusion, because he added in a stony tone of voice, “It would be a mistake for Akira to marry someone who doesn’t play go.”

Akiko stopped breathing. “A… mistake? Marrying…” She stared at her husband’s expressionless face, feeling dizzy. “Was it a mistake to marry me?”

She waited a full two minutes in silence before she realized that he didn’t intend to answer her. She closed her eyes, trying to compose herself, unable to believe this was happening. “I see.” She started to stand, and then sat down again, feeling jittery. A mistake? “Are you asking for a divorce?” She felt sick.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Akiko,” he snapped. He was stiff, clenched up under the hospital sheets, still refusing to look at her.

‘ _He’s in no condition to deal with this now_ …’ she thought. ‘ _His heart_ …’

She took a deep breath, steadying herself, and forced a smile. “Well, Akira’s still very young. We’ll see how it turns out. I’ve been meaning to ask, how is the hospital food? Is it as bad as I’ve heard rumoured?”

“Akiko…”

“What would you like to eat when you get out? I’ll make up something special. I’d better leave—you need to rest, and you have some important games coming up! I’ll— ”

“Akiko!”

Her rambling cut off abruptly, leaving her feeling barren and defenseless. She looked down at her tightly clasped hands. Her knuckles were turning white. She quickly loosened her grip, and tried desperately to calm herself.

“You have been the best wife to me that I can imagine. The mistake was not in my choosing you, it was in your accepting me. I am a terrible husband to you.”

She frowned and opened her mouth to reply, but his pleading expression stopped her.

“Go is the most important thing in my life, just as it is the most important thing in Akira’s. I do not want Akira to have to live knowing that he’s causing the woman he loves to suffer because he can’t put her above a game. My obsession with go is not something I’m willing to give up, and neither is he. I don’t want him to feel this pain.”

Akiko was silent for a long moment. Finally, she said, “Wouldn’t it be selfish of him to make that decision for her? It’s her choice, after all.”

“She wouldn’t have any idea what she’d be getting into, the isolation she’d feel from her husband, the loneliness, the pain! She—”

“ _How do you know?_ Women aren’t the complete fools you seem to take us for, Kouyou. And I can tell you--informed or not, lonely or not, _suffering_ or not--I have _never_ regretted my decision to marry you! And go may be first in your life, but I’ve never been jealous of that, not when I see the happiness that playing brings you. Not when I know you love me.”

Kouyou let out a long breath and finally turned to look at her. He said nothing, his eyes fixed on hers. He reached out to touch her arm, hesitantly, and then tugged, very softly. She moved closer to him until she was sitting with him on the bed, and he wound his arms around her and closed his eyes.

They lay there, holding each other silently, until visiting hours ended. Akiko could still feel her husband’s embrace as she drove home, could still feel his parting kiss on her lips. As she arrived home and began preparing dinner, Akira kept casting strange glances at her, wondering what it was about his father’s condition that made her so cheerful.

-END-


End file.
